Killing the spirit of ecumenical dialogue

Several months ago I got an email.  A local S. Baptist pastor had been looking over the church's website and wanted to know 1. if we considered ourselves Christian (We are a merged www.disciples.org and www.pcusa.org congregation), and 2. he was concerned that he didn't see anything regarding our beliefs about the important "Biblical doctrine of the Trinity."  He asked if I would like to get together for coffee.
I emailed back and said yes, we consider ourselves Christian, and we do affirm the Trinity and the Holy Spirit, but please direct me to the scripture where I can find the Biblical doctrine of the Trinity.

Our first couple meetings we acknowledged that we were both coming from completely different starting places regarding our views on just about everything, but especially our views of scripture.  However, we both seemed interested and willing to exchange ideas and views.  The recurring refrain from my Baptist friend was that he wanted to challenge me to be "intellectually honest."  His take was that it is intellectually dishonest for me to deny the inerrancy and infallibility of scripture and still call myself a Christian.  May take is that it takes a great deal more mental gymnastics to insist that scripture is a divine product straight from God's mouth to the writers' ear.

Our third meeting though is when I guess my theological sparring partner decided this was the knock-out round.  He kept mentioning that by refusing to accept Biblical inerrancy and infallibility I was not in submission to God, the Holy Spirit, or to those great scholars who are so much more knowledgeable than we two.  Once submission became a frequently used word I found it hard to calm my hackles, my hackles were raised, were raring to go in fact, and I was beginning to worry that if he used the word submission one more time I would find the nearest King James pulpit Bible to knock him off his judgement seat.
The end of the conversation came when he told me that he felt he had to warn people about my church because we were using the name and banner of Christianity for our own gain and under false pretenses.
I told him that last time I checked I wasn't on t.v. selling God's favor for thousand dollar suits or fancy cars and I didn't see how my little congregation of 50 people was misrepresenting Christianity because we didn't believe the same things he does.

 He graciously informed me that even as his enemy he would pray for me, and he would pray for the Holy Spirit to convict me into submission.  How does one even respond to that? I assured him that I also would be praying for him and for the Holy Spirit's conviction in his life, I didn't add what went through my head which was that the Holy Spirit would convict him from being such a self-righteous, Pharisaical A-hole...which I thought was a great step toward Christian unity.

I reflected on this encounter as I read http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/ entitled "Is God's Presence Limited to Scripture?" She states "scripture points to Jesus, not the other way around."
I think it's unfortunate that my Baptist colleague and I couldn't continue our conversations in the spirit of Christian unity.  For me as a Disciple, I have a strong value of the importance of respect and tolerance of difference of opinion, even difference of conviction.

The other subtext of this entire episode is that of the role of gender.  I have to wonder if Mr. Baptist gatekeeper for Christendom has felt the need to straighten out any of my UCC, Lutheran or Methodist colleagues on "Church Row," the pastors of which are all male.

The whole thing left me angry, frustrated, and somewhat sad.  There are many conservative, evangelical, I would say fundamentalist voices out there placing the blame for the decline of Christianity and the Mainline Church in the U.S.on progressive Christianity and liberal pastors like myself.  But I believe faith, religion and the Church are being dismissed because we have forgotten what Jesus proclaimed to be the greatest commandment: "to love God and love my neighbor as myself."  Jesus also told his followers that the world would know they were his followers if they loved one another.  It seems to me like we can barely manage to love one another, let alone our neighbor.